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It ain't right, it just ain't...

There is one pizza topping that is used copiously in Thailand. And I will go on pubic record stating that it is disgusting and should be banished from any pizza shop worldwide. Unfortunately, I supply a lot of it. Yes, I am part of the problem.

It just so happens that I run a pizza joint in the boonies of Thailand. I’ve written about this before, but in a nutshell; I was tired of eating Thai food and wanted some of my American food. Built a wood-fired pizza oven and my wife (Dee) asked if she could try and sell some pizzas. I should have said no.

Anyway, a year later we are jam-packed every weekend and my stomach twists and turns at least once a week. I mean seriously, who puts ketchup on pizzas? As it turns out, most of our Thai customers do. Now don’t get me wrong, most Thai people are great folks albeit for this one particular flaw.

It just ain’t right, it just ain’t. I’m fairly open to various pizza toppings but I do have a limit. If they want squid which basically tastes like rubber, crab meat, clams or heaven forbid a vegetarian topping, then ok. Even pineapple. But ketchup?

I have tried to stop this ritual only to be met with puzzled faces. I just don’t understand. It took me months to build a pizza oven and even longer to figure out how to make a decent pizza dough. Additionally, I spent many hours training my Thai staff on how to prepare, make and cook an American pizza. We use fresh ingredients and don’t skimp on the toppings. All this is done only to have most of the customers smear massive amounts of ketchup on their freshly baked pizza.

This revolting practice does not just occur at our pizza joint. Oh no, it continues even with the deliveries which happens to be a new concept in this rural area. Dee and I have had many discussions on how many packets of ketchup are necessary. She says at least six per pizza and I say none.

Dee also says that I should be thankful for a thriving business during this Covid pandemic. And she also says Americans are weird insomuch as they will put ketchup on everything but pizza. And the truth is, Dee is right about both statements. But she is wrong about putting ketchup on pizza. It ain’t right people, it just ain’t…

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